How can anyone live in a life that is so confusing? So frusterating? Filled with people who talk behind your back, people who are mean to you because you look a certain way, ditch you instead of saying that they don't want to hang out.

How can a person like someone so much but also can hate them at the same time? You like their personality until their personality is changed by some sort of drug that completly changes the way they act. It's like Dr. Jykell and Mr. Hyde. One is the nice person whome you grow to love and respect while the other is the beast that no one realy likes because his judgment is impaired by a drug. Once the drug is in his system, you realize that that is the person you do not like, that is the person you want to avoid, the person can so easily hurt you and care less about you. Some times he would even make it out to be your fault, your problem, and your tears would be the ones that will spill. Once the drugs are out of his system, he becomes the person you thought he was, the caring, gratefull one who would never dream of hurting you and would appolagise for what he did when he was the beast, but you knew all to well that he would do it again. You keep pleading and pleading for him to stop because of your past expieriences and he always says he will stop. Whats even funnier is that you will believe...again even though you secretly know that he will do it agian. He will turn into the beast.

It's like knowing what goning to happen at the end of a book, but you keep a shred of faith and hope it's going to change, that somehow the text will re-work itself to be the ending that you want it to be. Then when you get to the end of the book, your disapointed and upset because that little bit of faith you held onto throughout the entire book is gone, and you couldn't do anything to stop it. No matter how much you silently pleaded, it always ends the same. You try to re-write the ending in you mind to grasp that little bit of hope again, but them the book becomes a movie and your forced to watch the ending over and over and over again, never changing. The only person who can change it is the writer himself.

The writer, the person who makes the chain of events happen in the story. The person who makes the choises, the person who lets the story unravel no matter how many people it will hurt. The people in the story are just pawns, they're the ones that have to feel all the pain he's putting them through. The writer doesn't have to care because it doesn't hurt him emotionally. You can only have that little faith that the writer will change the ending, and will keep it that way for you don't want to get hurt anymore.

You can only hold on to faith for so long. How long will you keep the faith until you finally give up on him? When you finally understand that no matter how much you care about him, he won't care enough about you to change. So then you finally lose him because you don't want to feel the sting and pain of his actions and thoughts when he is Mr. Hyde. You won't stay with him, even when he is Dr. Jykle because you dont know when he will turn into the monster, and if he really cared about you, when your gone, he will stop because he cares that much, but that rarily happens so you don't have faith in him anymore to do anything for you.

What it basically comes down to is, if he cares about you, he'll change, if he doesn't he wont and you'll end up being hurt and scared for the rest of your life, hopefully it won't come to that.